As Ariel Black lay awake in bed, her mind wandering and her stomach churning, she knew there was only one way to relieve the growing discomfort. She had held it all night long, unable to move past the relentless gnawing in her gut that refused to be ignored. It was time for her morning shit – a time-honored ritual that filled her with equal parts embarrassment, shame, and, if she were being honest with herself, a perverse thrill.
She slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, her body still semi-numb from the night's rest. The weight of the day's anticipation sat heavy on her shoulders, but she forced herself to ignore it and focus only on the task at hand. She walked slowly to the bathroom, her reflection following her every step. Her pale skin glowed in the soft morning light as she reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly.
The moment she stepped inside, she closed the door behind her, sealing herself off from the rest of the world – at least for now. She made her way to the toilet, her gaze fixed on the porcelain throne before her. Her heart was pounding as she sat down, her body tense with anticipation. She knew what was coming, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
With a deep breath, she relaxed her muscles and let nature take its course. It came out fast and hard, a massive brown pile of shit that filled the bowl to the brim. She watched, mesmerized, as it plopped down into the water, the once-suppressed relief washing over her like a warm wave. She sat there for a few moments more, her eyes still transfixed on the fecal matter before her, when she suddenly snapped back to reality.
Quickly, she stood up and flushed the toilet, the sound of the running water drowning out the voice in her head that screamed this was wrong, this was disgusting. She washed her hands vigorously, scrubbing away any trace of the dirty deed before stepping back into her room, where she collapsed into bed, still partially relieved but weighed down by an unshakeable sense of shame.
As the day dragged on, she found it harder and harder to put the incident out of her mind. Every time she stood up from her desk or shifted in her chair, she could feel the bile rising in her throat, the memories of her earlier embarrassment threatening to overwhelm her once more. She tried to distract herself with work, with friends, with anything that would take her mind off of her dirty secret, but nothing seemed to work.
And so, as the sun began its descent towards the horizon, Ariel found herself once again drawn to the bathroom, her feet moving of their own accord towards the familiar scent of her morning shit. She knew there was no turning back now, that she was caught in a cycle of shame and guilt that she didn't know how to escape. But even as she stood there, tears streaming down her face and hands trembling, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe this was just the way things were always going to be.
